While at Quantum Leaps Lodge I was immersed in the wisdom of Neale Donald Walsch. It validated the place I had reached in my own awareness. It led me to a higher level of consciousness. My growth was also enhanced by the tranquil environment of trees, mountains, flowing river, birds and wild flowers. On our first day of study a fawn was born conspicuously and for the rest of our time there we would see mother and baby safely grazing.

In this idyllic environment I could continue my spiritual journey and become more aware of the interconnectedness of body mind and spirit. Master Young Hee led us in exercises of the Korean Dahn Yoga tradition. We understood that the vital life force energy that flows through us is called ki. Unless it is free to flow smoothly, we can not function at our highest level of being. We were introduced to ji-gam, a relaxed state which helped us feel the energy.  We did stimulating body tapping and stretches with many laughs and much fun.

It was a relief to feel the total connectedness of the whole me with the whole universe. Suddenly my beliefs were being crafted into a form that fit very comfortably.  The journey has literally taken me all over the map when it comes to fixing on a belief system. Nothing resonated with me that I could call it my own. I have been moving away from what society has taught me and moving towards what feels right to me.

A case in point - I was brought up in a society that taught conformity was a must and if you couldn’t be like everyone else your difference made you a freak which brought shame to your family. Since I’ve looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame for nearly 60 years I have lived through that shame. I have come out the other side realizing that just because someone important, or society in general, believes one thing I don’t have to believe it also. Attitudes have changed. Belief systems have changed. I am sure there are many young people today who are unaware that had they grown up with a disability prior to the 1960s; chances are they would have been hidden away in an institution to be invisible.
 
I am not invisible.  I am having a delicious journey finding the beliefs that really work for me that resonate with me and feel comfortable to wear. Now this may mean adopting a little bit of this and a chunk of that, but at least the recipe will be mine and I can take responsibility for the consequences of my actions.

So lesson #1 for me is that if I chose my own beliefs and ways of looking at life, I can blame no one for my circumstances. This means I am no longer a victim in life. Now that takes some thinking about because it is so easy to blame someone/thing else if we don’t have what we want.  Changing my attitude about my life has meant a big shift in thinking.

But after reading Viktor Frankle’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning” I was able to understand that others can take everything from you except one thing. They can destroy your family/friends/community, identity, material possessions, etc. But the one thing they cannot destroy, or have any control over, is your attitude towards your situation in life. Viktor Frankle in a WW11 concentration camp saw many people dying, who had not been killed. Others in the same situation lived. The difference being that those who lived still knew they had some element of control over something – their attitude. They had not, as others believed, lost everything.  I too have that choice in my life. My reactions, my behaviour will be my choice depending on how I perceive my reality. Yes, we do create our reality. I talk about that in my presentation “Antarctica - a Soul Journey - Awakening.”

I will discuss lesson #2 in my next entry.